Pay Pal

Saturday, October 14, 2017

King of Cups - My Burnt Potato





Today on my walk in the countryside, the Autumnal fragrances were intoxicating. The woodland, the earth, and the burning wood smoke, made me think of the days when these smells blended with the scent of the horse I'd ride this time of the year. It's was my idea of heaven on earth.

When you burn your potato in the microwave, like I did the other night, that's the end of that potato, but that smell hovers in the air for days, and it's really awful, an experience I'd rather forget, and I'll definitely avoid doing again in the future.

Smell is a sense that resonates deep in the memory of days gone by, of past relationships beginnings and endings. You suddenly find yourself in the present and you wonder what does this all mean? And ask, why am I here in this situation? It can be very confusing.

The sensitive, sympathetic, creative and poetic musician, the wounded healer, King of Cups thinks about this. He's lost emotionally, but more than willing to go above and beyond in extending his kind hand and heart; empathetic toward others, but can't seem to heal his own wounded heart. He's unable to achieve the fulfilling relationship which is so desired. He often loses the very thing he most desires.

The King of Cups never relinquishes control, as he doesn't ultimately trust the world of the unconscious, which he can't see.  He's enthroned in water, but can't submerge himself for fear of drowning, which is a metaphor for one letting go, or surrendering to another.

Many of us feel the same way the King of Cups does, not quite trusting life enough to take it's course, because we've been wounded through personal relationships, often those with parents; and we form relationships where we remain in control, and can't be that deeply hurt again.

By remaining in control, we cheat and short change ourselves. This King of Cups is rather like that old burnt potato in the microwave, burnt, wounded, with little to no purpose. We are unable to find happiness within ourselves, and are unable to be born before we die.






If I didn't Have Your Love - Leonard Cohen

 If the sun would lose its light And we lived an endless night And there was nothing left that you could feel That's how it would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real If the stars were all unpinned And a cold and bitter wind Swallowed up the world without a trace Ah, well that's where I would be What my life would seem to me If I couldn't lift the veil and see your face And if no leaves were on the tree And no water in the sea And the break of day had nothing to reveal That's how broken I would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real If the sun would lose its light And we lived in an endless night And there was nothing left that you could feel If the sea were sand alone And the flowers made of stone And no one that you hurt could ever heal Well that's how broken I would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real



Saturday, October 7, 2017

Page of Cups - Good News!










This is the second Page I've drawn in two days. Messages of encouragement, clarity and transformation are very welcomed for sure!

Sometimes it's difficult to be hopeful, sensitive, helpful and loyal when we're struggling and can result in tunnel vision or we become myopic, seeing our problems only and focusing solely on ourselves. We might even feel after a loss, or a painful life experience that we've nothing to give anyone. It's been my experience that there's nothing more helpful to me, than reaching out to those who are also struggling.

Help can come in so many forms, and the smallest of kindnesses should never be minimized, as it can mean all the difference to someone else, bringing them happiness, perhaps save a life, that might even be our own.

There's a powerful and beautiful synchronicity that happens when we're in this situation, reaching out to others in difficulty, in that we help ourselves in the process, by giving to another in whatever way possible. When we pay it forward this generosity is hopefully passed on to another, who will in turn, pay it forward.

Moving away from self-preoccupation, to having an awareness of others, is a self-sacrifice that can creatively transform our lives, and that's the good news!


Friday, October 6, 2017

Page of Swords - Blowing Up a Storm





Creative curiosity, innate capabilities and the raw childlike energy of independent thought, are all embodied in the Page of Swords.

Here we see depicted the mythic figure of Zephyrus, brother to Boreas. These two brothers were worshiped as savage and baleful forces of nature, immature and unbridled. They took pleasure in brewing up storms, though Zephyrus's nature eventually softened and transformed himself through his union with the beautiful and gentle Iris, the guardian of the rainbow, whom we met in the Major Arcana card Temperance.

The underlining message indicated, and the challenge set before me in the Page of Swords is to refrain from childish and unbridled behaviour. If I react childishly I'll more likely than not, be treated accordingly, in kind. When I make mountains out of mole hills, I stir up trouble for myself and for others.  And if others choose to gossip about me, I have to remind myself, what people think of me, is really none of my business. If I avoid gossip, gossip will tend to avoid me.

We are all on a different points of the emotional, intellectual and spiritual spectrum. One size does not fit all. Left over scars from our youth and left over familial issues sometimes come to the surface, and are born out in our adult relationships because we've been hurt in the past, and we tend to act out in the way we did as children, in order to cope. However these coping mechanisms no longer work as an adult. But if we give ourselves a chance, it certainly is possible to change these old behaviours in order to heal our hurts and free ourselves to be happy and healthy adults.

"We change our behaviour when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change. "
                                                                                - Henry Cloud

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

A Tarot Reading for 2018



Kliban's Tarot Reading Cat



Some Tarot readers don't like to do their own readings, as it can be difficult to maintain a objectivity when reading for themselves. I understand that, but I don't find it too concerning.

Not having ready access to another Tarot reader, living in very Nova Scotia, I opt to read for myself, but only when I'm searching for some needed answers occasionally, I'll do my own reading.

Drawing a daily card helps to give some discernment and insight that relates to life in general,  and often gives me answers to questions I didn't know I even had. It's a regular discipline that enables me to develop a relationship with the cards.

I've never posted any of my own personal readings, because well, they're personal! But today, I decided, because 2018 is one of those big milestone years for me, turning the big 65. Next year is going to be a huge positive change in many ways, and I'm certainly looking forward to seeing the passing of 295 days before then, but who's counting? I know it's said that you shouldn't wish your time away, but I admit it's marked on my calendar everyday.

I've use the Celtic Cross spread, based on the Mythic Tarot deck. My open ended question was a bit either or but to be less ambiguous,  it's always a wise decision to get specific, and so I asked, what will 2018 hold for me concerning my creative art enterprise? In my thoughts, but not included in my question, was related to finding a romantic partner. Eek... now I'm feeling vulnerable letting the world know this! I might be ready for a relationship, but truth is, maybe love's not ready for me. I wish I was more hopeful.

My written interpretation is the same format I use for my clients.
I'd love to hear another interpretation from another Tarot reader. No need to interpret anything really in depth, I'd just appreciate some feed back.



Significator


POSITION ONE is sometimes called the Covering Card and sometimes called the Significator. The card will reflect the situation, inner and outer, in which the individual finds himself or herself at the present moment.









Knight of Pentacles
Pentacles concern our physical selves and all things connected with the element of the earth and the material plane. The earth is a changeable dimension, constantly in motion, and is represented in this card.

This Court card symbolizes a youthful, diligent hard worker, and one who is versatile and a very creative figure. There is a love of the countryside, having a love of animals and all the wild critters.

Embodied in this image is the mythic figure Aristaeus, and who's called ' Guardian of the Flocks'.
He's the son of Apollo the sun-god. He was given to the Earth Mother who fed him nectar and ambrosia.  He was taught how to make cheese by the tree-nymphs, establish bee-hives and how to grow olives. Yum! Where can I find this guy! ;)

When Aristaus reached maturity, he was also taught the arts of healing and prophecy. He was honoured for his wisdom, and embodies that side of us which is humbly relates to all existing life forms and is ready to learn from all of nature, finding contentment in the ordinary tasks and routines of daily life.



POSITION TWO is called the Crossing Card, and describes that situation, inner and outer, which is generating conflict and obstruction in the immediate present. It is the thing which 'crosses' the seeker,and indicates the apparent nature of the problem. However, the Crossing Card is not necessarily negative, but simply represents the situation which is generating the conflict and stirring up matters. In a sense, it prevents the Significator from from fully expressing, and causes blockage in life.




Ace of Wands
Wands ruled by the element of fire signifies action, energy, inspiration, potential, growth and creativity.
The mythic figure of Zeus embodied within, is the symbol of the invisible, a creative vision,  vivid imagination and the power that created the universe. Raw creative energy is accompanied by a strong sense that new things are possible, and a new adventure is about to be embarked upon, in pursuit of a creative vision.












POSITION THREE is called the Crowning Card. It is apparent simply from its visual appearance – hanging directly over the Significator – that the card which appears in this position describes the atmosphere and situation which which hangs over the seeker in the immediate present. What is at the crown of something is what appears in full view on the top; and thus the card which appears here reflects what is out on the surface and immediately apparent in the seeker's life.


Eight of Pentacles
This card indicates change, pro-active engagement and life long learning. The apprentice Daedalus is seen working hard at developing his skills. This is the card of the apprentice, with the spirit of dedication and focused fresh energy, accompanied by enthusiasm of a new adventure in growth, manifesting and actualizing new things.









 
POSITION FOUR is called the Base of the Matter. This describes the inner and outer situation, drive, instinct or aspiration which really is behind the apparent surface situation reflected by the Crowning Card. What is at the base is really what is at the root of the psyche, and often this card comes as a surprise to the seeker, who may not have been aware of an unconscious motivation which needs to be brought into awareness. We do not always act or feel things for the reasons we think, and the card which appears at the Base of the Matter will often contradict the apparent reason for the dilemma at the time of consulting the cards.




Ace of Cups
The complex goddess Aphrodite,  initiated the tale of love between Eros and Psyche. She's a force of nature and as with all Aces, means there is an eruption of raw energy. This card signifies the urge toward relationship, and there is an implied readiness for relationship and the beginning of the journey of the realm of the heart, although this has not yet been manifested.










 

POSITION FIVE is called Past Influences. The card which appears in the position describes the inner and outer situation which is now passing out of the seeker's life. In the past it had been important, perhaps representing a set of values which the individual held in high esteem; but has lost its potency, and the seeker needs to be able to let go of whatever this card represents before the new future developments can be integrated creatively into life.





Three of Pentacles
Communication, teamwork and collaboration are all represented in this card. When reaching for goals, they're not accomplished in a vacuum. Needing and asking for help is not weakness, but strength, ensuring the completion of  objectives and success in achieving a goal.
There have been big celebrations in the past, but there is still work to come, with the knowledge of the personal limitations involved and what can be realistically handled in the future.







POSITION SIX is called Forthcoming Influences. The card which appears in this position describes the inner and outer situation which is about to manifest in the seeker's life. This is not in the long-term prognosis of future outcome, but rather a description of the currents at work in the immediate future.


Justice
Athene's triumphant cry of victory is a celebration of truth and ethical principles, based on fairness and objectivity. There is also reflective judgement and rational thought. These individual faculties act as firm guidelines for the choices made.

Justice is the first of the Four Moral Lessons, that concern our development of those individual faculties needed to live a functional, effective and balanced life. Doing so, honours and reclaims the sacred feminine, body, mind and spirit.









POSITION SEVEN is called Where One Finds Oneself, and it is a kind of future extension of Position One, the Significator. The card which appears in this position describes the attitude or inner state of affairs in which the self will soon find himself or herself. This card, like the Significator, describes a set of attitudes or inner qualities, and will often represent what needs to be developed as well as what is likely to unfold.


Ace of Pentacles
There is manifestation and prosperity. Here, Poseidon is embodied as the god of fertility, another raw force of nature. There is a burst of new energy for material creation. The Ace of Wands rises upward with the birth of a new creative vision. Simultaneously, the Ace of Pentacle's creative capacity turns downward to the world. There is then an eruption of energetic and fresh ambition toward creation and successful achievement. Monies are finally available and through ingenuity and persistence these resources can be utilized effectively.









POSITION EIGHT is called the View of Others, and it describes the image which those around us - friends and family – hold of our situation and ourselves. The card which appears in this position will usually imply what kind of response to our situation we can expect from others, and also what we ourselves have been unconsciously doing to project such an image to the world outside. Often an individual who is going through problems of one kind or another does not receive the understanding and sympathy from friends and loved ones that he or she hopes for, and the card in Position Eight can often tell us why not; for this is the view the world has of us, and it may contradict the way we feel as easily as it may honestly reflect our situation.

Two of Swords
Being in a state of paralysis, due to opposing forces, is a 'hurry up and wait' scenario, reflecting tension and anxiety. But there is a need to accept the situation as is, and find creative ways to handle it. The Serenity Prayer comes immediately to my mind, and striving to live in the present, one day, one moment at a time, instead of projecting into the future or worrying about the past.











 
POSITION NINE is called Hopes and Fears. Both hopes and fears can be described by one card, for all the cards in the Tarot deck have a double face. What fears troubles the Seeker? What does the seeker secretly wish for? This card divulges the hidden desires and attitudes of the Seeker, as well upcoming changes in the Seeker's perspective.


Ten of Cups
Completion is present in the number ten.
Now, Psyche is raised to a divine and immortal status, and implies that her love in not only personal and sensual but encompasses a spiritual dimension. This card indicates a striving for a state of permanence, meaning and ongoing contentment in the realm of the heart and in the rightness of life.

' When we look into the face of the beloved, we see there the reflection of the god to whose choir we once belonged.'
                                                                                                                     - Plato


POSITION TEN is called the Final Outcome. The word 'final' can be misleading here, for nothing is absolutely final, as we have seen in the circular journey of the Fool; and the card which appears in this position describes a situation not of a lifelong permanence, but one which is the natural outgrowth of whatever we are going through at the moment. As we have said, this 'final outcome' may cover a period of around six months.



Ten of Swords
Again completion is indicated through the end of an ancient family curse on Orestes, this end has come about through the judgment and fairness of Justice. The completion of this process began with the birth of new ideas and perceptions of life in the Ace.

It heralds the end of a difficult situation, and affirms that the sun will rise again, there is release and redemption. A new future can begin.









In Conclusion

Drawing three Aces, the Ace of Wands, Ace of Cups and the Ace of Pentacles symbolize a lot of raw energy.
Focused action and energy toward creative growth is seen in the Ace of Wands.
Emotional energy is indicated in the Ace of Cups connected to relationships, friendship and romance.
Energy and fulfillment with all things connected to our physical selves is reflected in the Ace of Pentacles.

Having drawn four Pentacles, the Knight of Pentacles, Eight of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles and the Ace of Pentacles, there is an overall implied emphasis as previously mentioned above regarding all things connected to the physical self. The element of the earth concerns property, work, finances and practical matters.

I feel very positive about this reading in regards to my creative endeavours, and my physical well being. I've been steadily walking 45 minutes a day, gaining strength and gradually seeing a decrease in my weight, each week when I attend weekly weigh-ins at my great local support group. As a woman I am determined to continue work and restoring the sacred feminine principle within by reclaiming and honouring my body. 

Fear of financial insecurity has been an ongoing anxiety for me over the past years. It's finally begun to subside. Not because I've more funds but I've worked at increasing by faith and trust. It's not been easy.

Next year my financial situation will increase, and I finally after so many years of struggle living on a very limited income, my stress level related to trying to make ends meet will mostly disappear.

Concerning the realm of the heart and being ready for a relationship, that sounds encouraging but I have no unrealistic expectations finding a partner.

Monday, October 2, 2017

Four of Pentacles - Stability and Creative Energy






The first thing that comes to my mind when seeing the Four of Pentacles today is this anonymous quote.

"My life's purpose is much clearer when I just work to help, not to possess."

The representation seen in the Four of Pentacles is Daedalus tightly clutching all that he has and what he has worked so hard for and accumulated over his lifetime. He's fearful that his nephew Talos is going to usurp his worldly material position, and possessions. Daedalus is angry and jealous feeling based on his fearful attitude that causes him to take hold of his money with too tight a grasp. This only leads to very negative consequences for Talos and Daedalus both.

There's an important message in this card. The more firmly a grip we have on our material possessions the more elusive they become resulting in unhappiness, because we sure can't take it with us, and if our true self-value is bound up in things, what we make and what we have blocks our creative energy, our self-expression.

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Death - Change and The River Styx







I always have a little chuckle when I draw this card because this depiction of the Death really does look like Darth Vader.

No, it's not Darth Vader, but Hades, lord of the underworld, brother to Zeus, and he was also called Pluto, which means 'riches', because his realm is full of hidden wealth.

Most people who aren't familiar with the Major Arcana card Death, are immediately fearful of this image in a reading, because it's taken literally, believing it's a foreboding prediction of a physical death. This is simply not the case. It's the card of transition and represents a coming to grips with what it entails, by accepting and opening ourselves to the door that's closing, and to another door that's opening.

Transition is often not so easy, depending on our capacity to accept and recognize, endings are necessary, and can also present an opportunity for deep personal growth and a new life, if we can find a way over time to let go of the old one.

One thing for certain about change, is that it's constantly in flux, and ever present in our lives, whether we like it or not. I don't think there is any one who is always comfortable knowing this fact, whether the change is positive or negative, as it's often difficult to accept.


We all have and develop our own comfort zones, that we might see as being threatened by change. Most of us, depending on what the change is we're presented with, will resist and deny, which often can make things more difficult, especially if we're not willing to go with the flow or we can't wear the world as a loose garment.

The stage of change brings sadness and mourning, represented by The River Styx and is as necessary as joy and celebration.

"We change our behaviour when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing."

      - Henry Cloud


 Apple River - Catherine Meyers

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Eight of Pentacles - Deal or No Deal?




Eight of Pentacles - Deal or No Deal?

The Eight of Pentacles can be seen as an ongoing theme of accepting change in our daily lives, whatever hand we are dealt, urging us to let go and remain hopeful.

We see Persephone headed down the stairs to the underworld in pursuit of Aphrodite's beauty cream! She's very aware of the likelihood, that she'll not be returning. She's let go and resigned herself to this and accepted this reality, but all is far from lost.

When it comes to loosing hope, there's really no deal. In desperation we might be thinking we can some how guarantee a future reconciliation, but this isn't relinquishing control. Coming to the realization that we can't bully, plead,  or make with deal with the divine or some how blackmail our way into a solution, is a useless exercise.

When we're at this point on our lives , now's the time to take advantage of the opportunity to educate ourselves, and learn the lessons to be found in letting go. We may feel that we've lost everything, but there is much to be gained.

The truth of the situation must be faced. There's nothing else left to do, and there's no way to go, except to let go. This letting go often is accompanied with depression, sadness and morning. If we can proactively engage in the same kind of positive change and transformation we find in the Death card, we'll find a tangible and real hope that we can apply to our lives in a real way.

Letting go will change us by submitting to that which is greater, the will of the divine, the great Goddess of Love which is imaged in the Eight of Pentacles.